


the things you said

by TooSel



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Bilbo POV, Character Death, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gold Sickness, Grief/Mourning, Love Confessions, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, One Shot, POV First Person, Party in Lake town, Series of One Shots, Sleepy Cuddles, Stargazing, Thorin POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-22
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-03-14 16:01:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3416831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TooSel/pseuds/TooSel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Bilbo," you sighed, and I opened my eyes again. The sound was so soft, fleeting in the wind. I thought about turning over, giving away that I was awake, but you already spoke again, softly, quietly; and now that you’d started the words seemed to tumble from your lips like rain from the sky...</p><p>A series of one shots, inspired by prompts that begin with "things you said". Each chapter is a finished story, each chapter summary includes the tags that apply to that one shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. things you said when you thought i was asleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for the prompt "bagginshield + things you said when you thought i was asleep". Originally posted on my tumblr.
> 
> Tags: Bilbo POV, Sleepy Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Love Confessions, Fluff

It was a cold night in late autumn when we lay by the fire, shielded from the looks of the other members of the company. It was late and I was wrapped in your fur, you’d insisted that I take it for the night.

I remember the smell; the remaining scent of smoke in the air, the distinctive flavour that was unmistakably  _you_. I’d never smelled anything so good in all my life, so wonderfully warm and homely and familiar; I knew with absolute certainty that no flower in the shire, in the whole world, could compare.

You lay close to me. I could hear the sound of your breathing; I knew you weren’t asleep, I thought you knew that I wasn’t either.

I didn’t shiver when you slipped your hand beneath the fur, resting it on my back. The steady warmth made me feel even safer and I smiled, feeling the comfortable heaviness of sleep taking over me slowly.

Your fingers were restless on my back, they began to trace paths and trails over my clothes, so softly that I could only imagine what you were trying to say through the motion.

"Bilbo," you sighed, and I opened my eyes again.

The sound was so soft, fleeting in the wind. I thought I’d misheard, but then you said it again, my name like a secret in the dark, and the way your fingers tightened on my back made my heart beat faster than it should have.

I resisted the urge to hold my breath, waiting for you to say something again. You were silent for a while, running your hand over me still; to soothe me or yourself, I do not know.

"I don’t understand you," you breathed out and I was confused, I didn’t know what you meant.

I thought about turning over, giving away that I was awake, but you already spoke again, softly, quietly; and now that you’d started the words seemed to tumble from your lips like rain from the sky. 

"I don’t understand you. Gandalf told me that hobbits were curious creatures, but never could I have expected _you_. I look at you every day and I don’t understand you. I don’t understand how such kindness can be paired with such strength. I don’t understand how it all fits in there, in your heart, the gentlest and purest of hearts I could imagine.  
Bilbo. My bravest, strongest Bilbo. I see the spark in your eyes, the gentleness that shines through, I see the way you look at me - I do not know, how can you grace me with a look like that? I’ve done nothing to deserve you, ghivashel, I’ve done nothing at all and yet you’re here. Why are you here? Why are you here with me, offering everything you have to give so easily, so readily?  
I don’t deserve you, I don’t. How could I ever deserve you? I do not know, my beloved. But I will spend the rest of my life, every day that you grant me, trying to deserve you.”

I listened breathlessly, your hand was still on my back and I felt my heart pounding so strong I feared it would break through my ribcage. Then you settled down, sliding your hand to my waist as you pulled me closer.

I felt the way you pressed your lips to my curly hair, tentatively, desperately, murmuring something I didn’t understand before you rested your head, finally going to sleep.

I listened in silence as your breath evened out, sleep only taking me when it was well into the night.

Your words never left my head, they lingered in my mind even after all our years together, all our kisses and touches and promises.

I never told you about that night. Maybe I will, now. You’re lying next to me, you’re fast asleep. Your face is averted, I’m running my hands over your back. I can feel the words starting to tumble from my lips…


	2. things you said when you were drunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You leaned closer and my pulse increased when you rested your forehead against mine. The alcohol seemed to have loosened your tongue and the words tumbled out before you could stop them. Or maybe you didn't want to...
> 
> Written for the prompt "bagginshield + things you said when you were drunk". Originally posted on my tumblr.  
> Bilbo is worried, then drunk, then drunk and worried.
> 
> Tags: Thorin POV, Party in Laketown, Drunkenness, Drunken Confessions, Fluff

It was our last night in lake town. It was the last night of happiness, contentment, before we left it behind to regain a kingdom and slay a dragon.

Perhaps you felt it, like a tingling sensation in your guts, a lingering sense of unease. Perhaps that was why you got drunk, trying to drown out the feeling of finality, of ending.

I watched you from where I sat behind the table, a glass of ale in my hands, barely touched. Around us, our friends were cheerful as they celebrated the night, getting louder and merrier by the minute. You sat between them, watched them dance with a faint smile, accepted every glass of ale you were handed. You should have looked like the odd one out, a single hobbit amongst dwarves, but you didn't. You looked like you belonged.

I kept my eyes on you all night, watching the gleam in your features reach new dimensions as time passed. You looked so calm, at ease. I didn't want to take that from you. I didn't. There was something hidden in your soft smile; the knowledge of what was to come, the bliss of choosing to ignore it, if only for one night.

I watched as you accepted another glass, shifting as you tried to balance it. It made me chuckle and you looked up at the sound, smiling in my direction. It surprised me that you'd paid so much attention to me that you'd heard the sound escaping my lips. I wondered why.

Your eyes still rested on mine and I tilted my head, suddenly desperate to hold your gaze, keep you from turning away again.

"I think you've had quite enough, Master Baggins, if the state of your balance is anything to go by," I remarked and it seemed to have been the right thing because you smiled; a real, wide smile that lit up your whole face.

"Perhaps you're right," you replied, barely surpressing a hiccup. I couldn't help the smile tugging at the corner of my mouth. I couldn't help but notice that you looked delighted at the sight.

"Perhaps I should assist you to your chamber, then?" I offered, holding out a hand. You nodded, taking it and holding it tightly. I squeezed your fingers, marvelling at the warmth your skin offered. It spread much farther than a simple touch like this should have.

We slipped away from our merry friends unnoticed. You kept holding my hand and I didn't let go until we reached your chamber.

"Thank you," you mumbled when I opened your door, glancing at our intertwined fingers.

"Are you quite alright on your own?" I enquired as you didn't let go. I winced at the hoarseness of my voice, I hoped you didn't notice.

"'m fine," you nodded, patting my shoulder in reassurance, lingering there for so long that I swallowed, seeking your gaze.

"Are you sure?" I asked. You sighed, closing your eyes.

"D'you wanna come in for a moment? Just till I- till I'm settled."

I swallowed again, nodding courtly. You tumbled into the room and I steadied you until you were seated on the bed, pulling me down with you.

"You should rest," I mumbled, desperately ignoring our closeness. "Tomorrow is a big day."

You nodded.

"I'm scared," you then whispered, squeezing my hand. I stilled, waiting for you to say more, but you remained quite after that.

"What are you scared of?" I enquired softly. You didn't reply. I laid a finger beneath your chin and lifted your head until you looked at me, your eyes wide and gleaming with something I couldn't fathom.

"Tomorrow. I'm scared of tomorrow. If I wake the dragon and he kills you..." You trailed off, looking at me with a sadness I didn't want you to ever feel again.

"We'll be alright," I assured you. My lips curved into a teasing smile. "With a burglar like you on our hands..."

You snorted and deep down I knew the sound shouldn't have been endearing, but by Mahal, it was. You were. My hand wandered from your chin to your neck, caressing the warm skin there gently.

Your eyes fluttered shut and you brought your own, smaller hands up, wrapping them around my wrists. You leaned closer and my pulse quickened when you rested your forehead against mine. The alcohol seemed to have loosened your tongue and the words tumbled out before you could stop them. Or maybe you didn't want to.

"I think about facing the dragon and I'm scared, Thorin, but it's alright because it's only my own life I'm risking. But if I fail and wake the dragon, if he leaves the mountain and you  _die_ , you're dead by my mistake- I can't lose you."  
The words were heavy with your tiredness and the alcohol in your body, but I clung to them like a starving man to his last piece of food. "You don't know it, but you're the most important- you make every day so bright and I'm not ready to lose that light," you sighed out. Your warm breath on my face was the most beautiful thing I had felt in days, maybe weeks. "You must promise me that you won't go, you don't leave me in the dark-" You were slurring now and though your words sparked a fire in me, I laid a finger to your lips, waiting until your voice hushed. You looked at me with wide eyes as you waited for my words.

"Master Baggins- Bilbo," I said, and the sight of your smile when I spoke your name nearly made me forget how to breathe. Perhaps it was your drunkenness that gave me the courage to speak theose words, perhaps it was the late hour or the little space between us. "Bilbo, how can you think that I'd leave you in the dark? How could I, when you are the light that shows us- shows me the way? How could I leave you, when you're the one to make me feel like I have finally found what I'd lost?"

You blinked and I saw that you tried to understand what I'd said. Your pretty eyelashes were fanned out on your cheekbones and I leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to each of your eyes to seal my words.

"Do you promise?" you mumbled and your eyes fell shut once, twice, as you struggled to fight against your tiredness any longer. I helped you lie down, my fingers lingering on your face a second longer than needed. I caressed your cheek, then bent down to press a kiss to your forehead.

"I promise," I mumbled softly. I hoped that it wasn't a lie.


	3. things you said when you thought you were alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I should have seen it coming. I should have. I bit my lip to keep a sound from escaping my lips, I tasted blood as you searched through the abundances of gold, still oblivious to my being there...
> 
> Tags: Bilbo POV, Angst, Gold Sickness

It was desolate and cold in the lorn halls and I shivered as an unnatural chill crept up my spine.

I stood pressed up against a wall of stone, stopped my shaky breathes from making a sound as they escaped my lips.

I remembered how I'd overheard you once, a long time ago.

It couldn't have been that long. It was merely three months since you came by Bag End and swept me off my feet; but now, standing here in the grand halls of Erebor, listening to your voice again, unguarded and lulled in the false sense of security that you were alone, it felt like a lifetime ago.

And how fitting that was; to call it a lifetime. Had it not been that?  
The adventure of a lifetime. A once-in-a-life time chance. The moment my life began. A whole life lived, squeezed into a timespan so small it made my chest tighten.

I'd caught myself more than once thinking of my life like that; before, and when it really began. Not knowing you, and you. Being alive, and living.

Yet, there is one truth about life that people tended to forget, to push away until it stared them in the face and they were unable to do anything but look back, watch blankly as it took from them what they treasured most. I, too, had made that mistake, and I was sorely regretting it now.  
It is unlasting, perishable. It ends. It could end in a second. It could end slowly, when a sickness crept in and sucked all light and good from it until nothing remained; nothing but pain for the ones left behind.

Death was an inevitable part of life. You never knew when it would come, never knew when it would sweep in and take from you the thing you held most dear.

Standing in the dark halls of Erebor, my back pressed to the stone behind me, I saw death. I saw it take my life from me, watched the future I could have had, the life I had taken for granted, as it was dying, right before my eyes, to the sound of your broken whispers, ridden with madness and something I did not recognise, could not fathom.

"Gold... my gold... the treasure of a king...“

I should have seen it coming. I should have. I bit my lip to keep a sound from escaping my lips, I tasted blood as you searched through the abundances of gold, still oblivious to my being there.  
I hadn't made a sound I wanted since the dragon had died, hadn't heard your loving voice speak of another thing than the treasure. My lips were bruised with the words I safely kept behind them, where they couldn't get to you, just me. Once upon a time, you would have kissed them sound again.

 

It had been an accident, the first time I'd overheard you.

We were at Beorn's house, it was the first day we woke up truly rested since the start of our adventure. You slipped outside while the rest of our company had breakfast, not noticing my gaze following you. I saw you leaving, my eyes had rested on you all morning.

I told myself that it was the worry about your wounds that caused me to be aware of your every step; deep down, I knew it was something much more raw and honest and too great for me yet to pronounce.

I followed you outside, just to assure myself that you were fine. I knew you by then, in a way. You, Thorin Oakenshield, always the rightful king, the great warrior, and, as I'd been allowed to learn just then, the tender lover, gentle friend. I knew that you would not utter a word about your injuries, were they what was troubling you.

There was a beautiful, old oak tree in Beorn's garden, and when I found you kneeling at the roots of it I startled, thinking your legs had given in under you. But then I heard your words, softly spoken with your head bowed down, and I realised.

I didn't want to listen, I looked to turn away again, but I was close to you, hidden just by the shadows, and I feared that movement would give me away.

"Father“, you mumbled before I could make a decision, and I blinked in surprise.

"He is still alive," you spoke, sore regret lingering behind every word. "I have failed you and grandfather. I would have had him die, have his head this time, but I failed, again. I was already defeated, so close to following you to the halls of our ancestors. But then there was Bilbo, and-“ You halted, and my heart followed. It always did.

"It appals me to no end that the orc scum is back in my life, when I vowed to take him down so long ago.“

You paused, I saw the way you were hunched over and oh, my heart was heavy with the pain you felt. Then you straightened as you continued to speak.

"But there is also Bilbo," you said and I watched in wonder as a smile unfolded on your face. It looked good on you, I made a promise to myself right then and there to put that look on you as often as I could.

"If Azog is the price I have to pay for gaining Bilbo, then I do not complain. He is... he's a wonder, the most curious of creatures. So strong and tender, delicate and yet perfectly capable of taking care of himself. And me,“ you added, a soft chuckle leaving your throat.

I felt heat arising in my cheeks at your words, my heartbeat rustled in my reddened ears. You continued to speak and I leaned closer, hoping to catch your every word.

"And though I have failed before, I will free the earth of Azog when the time comes, and he'll be gone from my life, for good. Bilbo, on the other hand... Bilbo, I intend to keep.“

You said a few more words which I did not hear, since my head felt like it was spinning and I had to gasp for air, regulate my breathing before I could focus on you again. When I returned my eyes to you you were standing up, bidding goodbye to the tree. You went inside without seeing me, never to know that I'd heard your words.

I stayed where I was, thinking about what you'd said, swallowing down the wave of feelings arising in me. I stepped to the spot where you'd sat but a moment ago. A fresh breeze blew through my hair and when I looked down, I saw an acorn lying in front of me, right where you'd sat. I leaned down to pick it up, turning it in my hands as a smile unfolded on my face. I tucked it into my pocket before I went back inside.

 

This, today, was not an accident.

I knew you hadn't rested when I'd woken this morning, your bedroll still untouched from the night before. I'd slipped away from the others in search of you, terrified of what I'd find, but unable to stay away all the same.

You were my king. You'd always been my king, I'd followed you since I first laid my eyes on you. You were my king, and I was your lionheart. You were a different king now, but I belonged to you all the same. I would stand by you, I would, I knew it with my every breath.  
Even if I had to rob you of the thing you valued most, as I had been robbed. Even if I had to betray you, as life had betrayed me.

My hand jerked to the jewel hidden away in my coat, I closed my eyes as you began to mumble to yourself again. My hand wandered from the cold stone to the smaller, much more valuable treasure I carried and my fingers closed around the acorn, a small source of comfort as I listened to you, your endless murmured mantra.

"The Arkenstone... inside these halls it lies, my birthright... I must find it, my treasure...“

The way the words tumbled from you lips, your raw whispers brought a shiver down my spine, left me colder than before. Just like your voice was colder now than it had been, still muttering these sickened words.

It was you, and it wasn't. And it tore me apart in more ways than I could fathom.

Your madness-ridden whispers made me shut my eyes, keeping everything inside once more. _The king is dead. Long live the king._

"The Arkenstone... my greatest treasure...“

There'd been a time when I'd been your greatest treasure.

I thought it was a lifetime ago.


	4. things you never said at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I look into your eyes and suddenly I can't help but smile, because I can almost see the words you kept inside behind them, and we’ve been so _stupid_ , such stupid fools, haven’t we, my treasure, my love?
> 
> Tags: Thorin POV, Angst, Character Death

The first time I see you, you take me by surprise. I’ve never met a hobbit before. I’ve never met anyone quite like you before. Where did Gandalf find you? Who are you? Who are you, that you offer yourself to a mission doomed to fail so readily? 

 _You have beautiful eyes,_ I think. “So, this is the hobbit,” I say.

 

You come with us, despite our bumpy start. That's the second time you surpise me, the second of many, many times. I thougt I'd scared you away, but here you are, holding up the signed contract with such pride in your eyes and a smile on your lips. I wonder- no, I hope, for your sake, that it will still be there when we reach our destination.

 _Good luck, Master Burglar,_ I think. “Give him a pony,” I say.

 

The journey isn’t kind to us, but you hold yourself up remarkably. You prove yourself to me, to us, more times than necessary.

 _Stop putting yourself in danger,_ I think. _Stop making me so scared for your life. It’s more important than any of this. You’re more important._  “I have never been so wrong in all my life,” I say.

It’s not quite what I meant, but as I hold you in my arms, it’s almost enough.

 

So many times we almost die, so many times we almost don’t make it. Not enough times, not enough for me to say what’s lingering in the back of my mind, often in the front, on the tip of my tongue... Not enough.

I ride beside you one day. The sun breaks on your honey curls and in that moment, your mob of hair is the only gold I see, the only gold I can ever imagine I’ll need.

 _You’re the most curious creature I’ve ever met,_ I think. _You shine brighter than the stars at night. You make me question things I never thought to question before._ I say nothing.

Later, I tell myself. We will have time later, and I will tell you everything. Once we’ve won the mountain, there’ll be enough time to tell you what I can’t say, not now.

 

There is no time when we’ve reclaimed the mountain. I’m inside its halls and you’re next to me, talking to me, and as I look at you I remember a glimpse of golden sunlight, a glimpse of golden curls and I smile, almost smile, but the gold of my fathers is too heavy, too bright, demanding my attention, drowning out the words - _my treasure, my love_ \- before I get the chance to say them aloud.

 _My whole treasure, united in these halls,_ I think. "Nobody rests until we've found the Arkenstone," I say.

 

Everything happens so fast. There is never enough time, not for us. Now you’re over me, hovering close, I’m lying in the dirt and this is not at all like I imagined this to go, how it’s supposed to end. I can hear you voice, speaking frantically, and I’m dying, I realise that now, I’m dying-

You’re so beautiful against the bright sky, so bright I almost can't bear it. But your face is twisted in pain, in horror, it’s all wrong, I’m dying, you realise that now-

And I feel the words coming on again, pressing to get out. I’m dying, but they don’t have to die with me. How peculiar, I think, that I can only say them now, now that it’s too late.

You wince as the words leave my lips, "go back to your books and your armchair", _oh, my love, I have to die, but you don’t have to die with me._ Finally, for once, they do as they should.

You know what they mean, you know, don’t you?

I look into your eyes and suddenly I can’t help but smile, because I think I can almost see the words you kept inside behind them, like you can see them in mine, and we’ve been so _stupid,_ such stupid fools, haven’t we, my treasure, my love?

Tell me I'm not wrong, tell me. But you don't have to, not really. I see it now. I see it.

The things I didn’t say at all. I wonder, do they match the things _you_ didn’t? Would we, had we ever said them aloud, have looked at each other in silence before breaking into a smile, brimming with joy as we reached out to one another?

Would it have made a difference? Would it have mattered at all, even if it had still ended like this, with me dying in the dirt and you begging over me to _stay with me, no, no, don’t you dare-_?

I like to believe it would have. I like to believe.


	5. things you said i will never forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a funny thing, memory. The things it chooses to let slip from your mind. The things it won’t let you forget, even if you wanted to. Can’t forget them, my love. I can't.
> 
> Tags: Bilbo POV, Grief/Mourning, Angst

The first words you said to me, “So, this is the hobbit.” The twinkle in your eyes and the smug smile tugging on your lips, giving no hint of what was to come, no sign of what your words would turn into, what we’d turn into. 

“He looks more like a grocer than a burglar.” You compared me to a lot of things later on - the moon and sun and stars, a songbird amidst a flock of ravens, all the gold in Erebor, yet those are the words I can’t forget.

It’s a funny thing, memory. The things it chooses to let slip from your mind. The things it won’t let you forget, even if you wanted to. Can’t forget them, my love. I can't.

 

Words you whispered to me on the road, at night, barely audible over the cracking of the fires, echoing loudly in my head like the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears, of your breathing, your voice. Too intimate to say out loud, words I can’t repeat even to myself, not yet anyway.

And yet. And yet. Can’t forget them. They’re seared onto my mind, like you are, my love, just like you.

 

Words you spoke, riden with madness, ridden with desire, only it wasn’t for me, not truly, not anymore. 

“This gold is ours, and ours alone.”

Painting a future we can never have anymore, making me want things I never dared to dream of having, and now never will. Can’t forget it, my love, can’t.

 

Your last words. To me, to anyone. Can’t forget them, even if I tried.

Even if I wanted to. 

“Go back to your books, and your armchair.” I did, Thorin. I did. 

“Plant your trees. Watch them grow.” I do, my love. I watch them grow, I think of you when I do. They grow, just like our love did, slowly but surely, inevitably. 

But they don’t die before their time, no, the don’t. Not like we did. I tend them. I wish, I wish I’d known how to tend us. Now all I have is a growing tree and your hollow words echoing in my head for months, for years. 

“If more people valued home above gold, it would be a merrier world.” It would be, Thorin. It would be.

I'll keep it in mind for you, love, I will. I won't forget it. I can't.


	6. things you said under the stars and in the grass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How lucky we both are, then, to be here tonight,” you say softly.
> 
> Tags: Thorin POV, Fluff, Cuddling & Snuggling, Stargazing

You're lying in the grass when I find you, gazing up at the night sky. You look so peaceful that I stop in my tracks, wondering if I should interrupt you. But then you open your eyes and your gaze settles on me as you find me standing close to you, looking at you.

“Thorin,” you say, smiling. “Have the others gone to sleep?” I nod. You pat the empty space next to you. “Come and lie with me.” You raise your eyebrows at my slight hesitation, shaking your head softly as laughter escapes your lips. “Lie down with me, I mean. I don't- I just want to be with you tonight. It's so beautiful.”

I keep my eyes on you. “It is,” I agree, sinking beside you. Our bodies touch and for a brief moment I wonder if I'm too close, if I should move, but you just smile, so I stay where I am, almost snuggled up to you, the feeling of your skin on mine making me smile.

“Look at the stars,” you whisper, and I follow your gaze. “You could never see as many stars as that back in the Shire.”

I hum at that. For a long moment, all we do is look up at the little dots of light. It's so quiet, peaceful. 

“I never used to see the stars when I was a child,” I say. I'm surprised by the confession, but you only turn your head, waiting for me to continue.

“Growing up as the heir to the throne is rather demanding. In a way, I am glad Fili was spared of that. I was raised very strictly. The protocol was indispensable from the day I started to walk.”

“You didn't get to go outside?” you ask. I shake my head.

“Rarely. Not until I came of age, and even then, the night sky was a rare sight. And after Smaug, when we were on the road, I never took the time to just look. I never thought I'd get to appreciate the sight like I do right now. Like this.” _With someone like you,_ I think. I don't say it, but maybe you can see it in my eyes, hear it in my voice, feel it in the way my body is pressed to yours.

“How lucky we both are, then, to be here tonight,” you say softly, sending a smile my way.

I agree. “How lucky, indeed.”

“Look over there,” you say, pointing at an abundance of lights. “My mother always said there's pictures hidden in the sky, if you only look hard enough. Like that part, you see? It looks like an eagle, I think.”

I look up, frowning as I look up. “I don't see it,” I admit, looking for the image. You chuckle.

"If you look hard enough, Thorin," you repeat. I search the sky, seeking other pictures. Your eyes follow my finger when I point upwards. “But that over there, that somewhat looks like a bear, don't you think?”

You laugh. “Like Beorn.” I nod. “He's still looking over us,” you jest. “ That's a nice thought. Oh, and here-” You take my finger, guiding it towards another spot, “see, that's Gandalf.”

I laugh, gazing up at the mess of stars that look nothing like the gray wizard. You join in on the sound, letting your hand sink to the ground. You don't let go of my hand, and I'd be lying if I said I want you to.

“When you've retaken Erebor, you can do this all the time,” you say when our chuckles have ebbed. “The mountain doesn't have to be a prison again.”

I look at your profile. "You?" I ask. You turn your head, looking at me questioningly. "You said 'you'," I repeat. "What about you?"

You search my face, blinking repeatedly as you take my words in. "You mean-? Oh. Well. I hadn't thought about that yet. Or rather- I thought _you_ hadn't thought about it."

I squeeze your fingers. "There's not much to think about. I want you to stay. I'm asking you to. If that's what you want as well, then it's decided." You look at my face for a moment, then turn to the stars again. I watch the light shine upon your features, then turn to the sight of the night sky as well.

It doesn't matter if this is the first of many or the only night I get to spend with you under the night sky, under the stars and in the grass, holding your hand as their light shines upon us. It doesn't matter, not right now. This is here. This is now.

“I want a garden.” I look at you. You meet my gaze halfway, the corner of your mouth turning up. “If I’m to stay in Erebor, I want a garden.”

I look up at the stars again, my lips curving into a smile as well. “I think that could be arranged, Master Burglar.” Your thumb strokes my hand and I look at you as I correct myself, your smile as bright as the stars above us. “That can definitely be arranged, Bilbo.”

 


	7. things you said after we kissed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bilbo," I muttered, just before your lips met mine again. "My name is Bilbo. I think it's time you call me that."
> 
> Tags: Bilbo POV, Fluff, First Kiss

Warmth. The only thing I could think of, the only thing left on my mind as our lips finally,  _finally_ touched - warmth and a sweet softness, such unexpected tenderness, burning on my mouth, all over me, inside me.

At one point, maybe a few seconds, maybe minutes later, I pulled back. You didn't say anything at first.

Your hands were still cupping my face, my fingers still tangled in your hair. A long, long silence stretched between us, the only sound being our shared panting. Then a chuckle left my lips. The soft noise snapped you out of your rigour. You pulled back as well, a frown appearing on your face.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, taking my hands from your hair, raising them to my lips. You watched as I touched them softly, tracing with my fingertip where you'd been just a moment ago. I raised my eyes to meet your gaze, my lips curving into a smile. You regarded me with narrowed eyes.

"Are you okay?"

I chuckled again. "Never better. It’s just- you, _this_ , caught me by surprise, that’s all.”

“Why is that?” I blinked up at you, grinning at the smile unfolding on your face. “Say, Master Baggins, were my attempts at courting you not indication enough that I wanted to kiss you? Been wanting to do so for a long while, in fact?”

I laughed as I reached for your hand, shaking my head. “No, it’s just, I didn’t- I never thought this would actually happen, you see. I didn’t let myself think it would. I didn’t dare. This, this is like- like a dream.”

You hummed, lacing my fingers with yours. “Perhaps,” you suggested, cocking an eybrow, “we should try kissing again, then, so you'll get used to it."

I raised my eyebrows. "It will take a lot of kissing before that happens, I'm afraid."

Your other hand found its way to my cheek again. My eyes fell shut as your thumb brushed over my skin. "That won't be a problem, Master Burglar."

"Bilbo," I muttered, just before your lips met mine again. "My name is Bilbo. I think it's time you call me that."

"As you wish, Bilbo," you mumbled against my lips. I smiled. I wouldn't mind getting used to this, at all.


	8. things you said with no space between us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is nothing, nothing except your bare skin on mine, my body moving together with yours, the feeling of being completely electrified...
> 
> Tags: Thorin POV, Non-Explicit Sex

Seeing you like this, being with you like this, that's what heaven is like, I know it. It must be, I'm sure.

There is nothing, nothing except your bare skin on mine, my body moving in union with yours, the feeling of being completely electrified.

I'm raw, exposed, the end of each of my nerves is on fire, and you're the cure _and_ the disease, the water and the flame at the same time. I want you, I _need_ you, it's killing me, it's making me alive-

“Oh,” you gasp and my entire attention is on you, just you, only and entirely you, "oh," and then “oh, oh, oh,” until it’s only a whimper, a fleeting sound, going right through me, shaking me to the very core.

“Yes,” you say through gritted teeth and I can’t help the moan escaping me, accompanying your string of  _yes, yes, yes, oh god, yes-._

Like ecstasy. Like fever. 

“Oh god,” you moan. Your voice cracks, the hoarseness of it almost enough to take me over the edge as your fingers slide over my glistening skin, your nails dig into my flesh and I don’t know anymore, I can’t tell what is you, what is me, where one of us ends and the other begins, we are one and the same, one body, one life, one soul- 

and I think it’s almost too much, too much as you pant against my skin, leave a path on my body with your lips, your tongue, and there’s my name, gasped out like a plea, like a prayer, “Thorin,” you gasp, “Thorin, Thorin, Thorin.”

It’s all I never knew I wanted, all I ever needed to hear, and in your arms I come undone, as you do in mine.


End file.
